A young man called Sam wanted to purchase a gift for his new
girlfriend’s Christmas present. After careful consideration as they hadn’t been together long he decided a pair of gloves would be about right, not too romantic not too personal. Accompanied by his girlfriends sister he went to Harrods and bought an exquisite pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time. During the wrapping the shop assistant mixed up the two items and the sister got the gloves and the girlfriend the panties. Without checking the contents Sam sealed the package and sent it to his girlfriend with the following note: 

Dear Maria,
I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones and said they’re much easier to remove if you get hot. 
These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the last three weeks and they were hardly soiled at all. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart even though they were a little tight on her. She also told me that her pair helps keep her ring clean and shiny.; in fact she hadn’t needed to clean it since she began wearing them. 
I wish I could be there to see you put them on for the first time, and I’m sure everyone in the Dog and Ferret will admire them greatly. 
I Eagerly anticipate kissing them when I see you and all your family at the Hunt Ball on Friday.

All my love,

Sam

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

Vacationing in Hawaii, two priests decide to wear casual clothes so they won't be identified as clergy. They buy Hawaiian shirts and sandals, and soon head for the beach.
They notice a gorgeous blond in a tiny bikini. "Good afternoon, Fathers" she says as she strolls by.
The men are stunned. How does she know they are clergy? Later that day, they buy even wilder attire consisting of surfer shorts, tie dyed T-shirts, and dark glasses.
The next day, they return to the beach. The same fabulous blond, now wearing a string bikini, passes by, nods politely at them and says, "Good morning Fathers."
"Just a minute young lady.", says one of the priests. "We are priests and proud of it, but how in the world did you know?"
The blonde replies, "Don't you recognize me? I'm sister Katherine from the convent."